Resident: 50 is when you get REALLY old then you have to grow the fuck up. I think I’ll marry a younger man, because y’know women live longer and if I marry a younger guy then we’ll die around the same time. 

Me: Yeah, timing your deaths is kind of important. 

girl: i just feel like i hate humanity right now.

boy: why? 

girl: my aunt flo is in town.

boy: who’s aunt flo?

[Two boys are riding back from summer school in a golden Honda Odyssey. A boy with a buzz cut (boy 1) lounges in shotgun while his stoic peer (boy 2) chills in the back seat]

Boy 1: i have to write a paper about this kid in my class. 

Boy 2: oh, the one in the wheel chair?

Boy 1: yeah, he’s cool. i feel bad he’s in a wheel chair. 

Boy 2 [completely serious]: i think he’s on the cross country team.